Experiment in Introspection

I did a little time of sitting before God quietly to think through some dilemmas.

Here's what I found.  It's kind of abstract, but I'm trying to describe how I thought through the disconnected ideas, to try in prayer to hear what God might be saying.  This is a lot like what happens when you try to hear a prophetic word, after which you have to match it with scripture.  But when you're in the moment of listening, it's like following a dream.  Prayer, meditation and scripture study all go back and forth.  Scientific thought and philosophy is like this sometimes too.

I tried to start out with asking what has been going on with music in my life.  In the time of prayer and quietness, I saw connections.  One thing leads to another.  There's a natural branching of ideas led to friendships and human connections.  As I quieted myself and just tried to trust God to lead me to make connections, I saw these things.  There would be a dense network that centered on related, repeating patters, with peers, intimate relations, comics, schoolwork and reading, playing guitar and other music, having an aesthetic appreciation of music of different kinds, and trying out different projects, trying to do different things, pursuant to taking various initiatives.

I was expecting to find moments of shame that have locked me in or kept me down, but nothing of shame came to the surface.  Quite unexpectedly to me.

What did emerge, on reflection, is that the primary feature of all the positive emotional aspects of life experiences is the exercise of my will to bring something about.  Good things would happen in the trail of taking initiative, even very small good things in the course of life, as well as very large cumulative projects taking years and much support from other people.






I'm reminded of the parable of the Talents.  The master gives the servant a supply of talents, and says in so many words, I'm trusting you with these--go out there and see what you can do with them!  Try this, try that, try the other thing.  Just launch out in good faith, you'll see what works, there's no shame in trying thing.  You're smart, you'll figure it out.  Just, go do something.

The emergent observation, the apparent result of this experiment in quietness, is that it doesn't really matter what the subject is (repeating: whether it is developing peer relationships, or intimate relationships, or involvement with comics at any level, involvement with music at any level, or the execution of projects at any level); but that what decisively does matter is the exercise of my will to make something happen.  And the clarity and unmixed attention and effort that I bring to the purpose to which I am attending, whatever that purpose might be; that clarity, attention and effect will yield (one may expect, even plan on) success in life, and happiness in life, and success at my purpose.  I will accomplish the thing that I'm trying to do, one might expect, and there will be a lot of satisfaction and happiness both for me and people attached to me.

I was trying to get the experience of "quietness before God" down into words while I still remembered.  So if it's a difficult to understand, that makes sense.  If you're interested, I'll discuss these things in a personal conversation, if you ask.  Thanks so much.

Love, Truth, Beauty they will be there at the station

Love, Truth, Beauty they will be there at the station


But for the time being all I can see is slogging uphill and solving other people's problems.

Jesus is faithful.

https://youtu.be/iimvaenpa4w

Young Love True Love Filled With True Emotion, or not.

Note to the reader: To fully appreciate the argument and enjoy the page, follow the links and watch the videos.

Here's a fine fix.
Start out with suspicion of erotic pleasure being the same as sin, an a priori nay-saying toward touching and feeling.  Here's to you, Journey.

But ... but... Song of Songs.  I mean, Really.

I don't think the whole truth about the ins and outs of falling in love has been told more truly than by Meatloaf.  Doubly blessed, barely seventeen and barely dressed.  Well, it's not Shakespeare. But Shakespeare doesn't get much airtime these days.

Then there is the whole truth about that One Special Moment.  The Senior Prom, we danced till three, and then you gave your heart to me.

The other side: Skip ahead just far enough to see hard times in the rearview mirror.  Thank you, Orleans. https://youtu.be/XrPnBkjdaFM

Then there's the problem with anxious/avoidant lovers.

The Bob (Dylan) and his amorous exploits, early in life.

Bob also wrote a testimony to the fact that it doesn't get better simply because you get older--(voiced by the Lonesome Cowboy Himself, Willie Nelson).What Was It You Wanted?  

Do you need anything?  What problem can I fix for you?  Tell me what you want!



Being "anxious/avoidant" in personality sets one up to believe that there's no such thing as emotional, sexual love--in the way of deep and intimate reciprocity that secure/autonomous folk experience.

Here is something about anxious/avoidant personalities and anxious/ambivalent (aka anxious/resistant) personalities.  [As always, Wikipedia is a usually fine starting point for further research, not a place to stop.]

The Bible spends, oh, maybe zero amount of time and energy trying to straighten out the anxious/avoidant lovers in our midst--may be a tiny amount in a circuitous fashion.  It spends tons of time and energy on restraining the Meatloaf crowd.  And much time celebrating the Orleans perspective from their video above.

Makes me think that in the Bible's perspective, anxious/avoidant love is not really that big a deal, since we die by the time we're forty, which is long enough to live to do the right thing by "decision not emotion," have progeny, and pass on to our eternal reward.  (Thank you anyway, but no thanks-- Self-growth.com--but there are a lot of born-again sites with the same approach.)

Except for the complication that love is the be-all and end-all for Christians.

But now we live longer and need to find something.  We need love.

You want Decision Not Emotion?  I'll give you some damn decision not emotion.  






































Page one of the Relationship Agreement is taken from the free, multi-page template at Sample Templates.com.  https://www.sampletemplates.com/business-templates/relationship-agreement-template.html

Actually, I suspect this latter approach could work well for the rare obsessively organized and industrious, and introverted couple, where both parties love each other and express that love, accountant-like, in spreadsheets.  



Apologies for not illustrating this blog with Shakespeare and classic references and illustrations.  I just reached out my metaphorical hand and used what was at arm's length.  Sigh, Romeo and Juliet, Leaves of Grass, and 16th Century Italian Poets.  Thank you for all your good work.  Maybe next time.