Here's a fine fix.
Start out with suspicion of erotic pleasure being the same as sin, an a priori nay-saying toward touching and feeling. Here's to you, Journey.
But ... but... Song of Songs. I mean, Really.
I don't think the whole truth about the ins and outs of falling in love has been told more truly than by Meatloaf. Doubly blessed, barely seventeen and barely dressed. Well, it's not Shakespeare. But Shakespeare doesn't get much airtime these days.
Then there is the whole truth about that One Special Moment. The Senior Prom, we danced till three, and then you gave your heart to me.
The other side: Skip ahead just far enough to see hard times in the rearview mirror. Thank you, Orleans. https://youtu.be/XrPnBkjdaFM
The Bob (Dylan) and his amorous exploits, early in life.
Bob also wrote a testimony to the fact that it doesn't get better simply because you get older--(voiced by the Lonesome Cowboy Himself, Willie Nelson).What Was It You Wanted?
Do you need anything? What problem can I fix for you? Tell me what you want!
Being "anxious/avoidant" in personality sets one up to believe that there's no such thing as emotional, sexual love--in the way of deep and intimate reciprocity that secure/autonomous folk experience.
Here is something about anxious/avoidant personalities and anxious/ambivalent (aka anxious/resistant) personalities. [As always, Wikipedia is a usually fine starting point for further research, not a place to stop.]
The Bible spends, oh, maybe zero amount of time and energy trying to straighten out the anxious/avoidant lovers in our midst--may be a tiny amount in a circuitous fashion. It spends tons of time and energy on restraining the Meatloaf crowd. And much time celebrating the Orleans perspective from their video above.
Makes me think that in the Bible's perspective, anxious/avoidant love is not really that big a deal, since we die by the time we're forty, which is long enough to live to do the right thing by "decision not emotion," have progeny, and pass on to our eternal reward. (Thank you anyway, but no thanks-- Self-growth.com--but there are a lot of born-again sites with the same approach.)
Except for the complication that love is the be-all and end-all for Christians.
But now we live longer and need to find something. We need love.
You want Decision Not Emotion? I'll give you some damn decision not emotion.
Page one of the Relationship Agreement is taken from the free, multi-page template at Sample Templates.com. https://www.sampletemplates.com/business-templates/relationship-agreement-template.html
Actually, I suspect this latter approach could work well for the rare obsessively organized and industrious, and introverted couple, where both parties love each other and express that love, accountant-like, in spreadsheets.
Apologies for not illustrating this blog with Shakespeare and classic references and illustrations. I just reached out my metaphorical hand and used what was at arm's length. Sigh, Romeo and Juliet, Leaves of Grass, and 16th Century Italian Poets. Thank you for all your good work. Maybe next time.
